artredefinition

Hite Research International

The Redefinition of Puberty – what it really means

Puberty is an ideological and psychological category; biological events are used to reinforce and mystify the ideological constructions we want children to have – and which we want to have about children.

Revolutionising the Psyche of Patriarchy

The Redefinition of Puberty – Children’s Psycho-Sexual Identity

In the twentieth century, we have conceptualised children and ‘family’ via Freudian and ‘holy family’ constructs of childhood.

This book clearly and eloquently refutes those categories, and offers an imaginative new world-view based on the moving testimony of thousands of girls and boys, and men and women who have grown up during the last twenty five years.

What is new in this testimony, and Hite’s interpretation of the data:

Is puberty a real stage?

Since girls can masturbate to orgasm from the age of five or so, while boys truly reach full orgasmic capacity (with ejaculation) only at puberty, is puberty really misnamed for girls? Has Freud made too much of it, basing it on a male model? It is the beginning of girls’ reproductive capacity, not their sexuality. Puberty is the stage at which patriarchy demands children shift their allegiance from their mother to their father and the system of father-right.

Oedipus in Love: (Oedipus revisited)

‘Oedipus’ eroticism after leaving his mother.

The major crisis in boys’ lives is created during boys’ puberty (when boys are flooded with sexual feelings, first masturbate to full orgasms, usually doing so frequently, and often pay sex games with other boys) – and at the same time, are pressured heavily by the culture to demonstrate ‘toughness’ in sports, stay away from the girls, don’t hang around at home with ‘your mother’, etc. ‘Don’t be a sissy or a wimp’, i.e. ‘female’ or ‘feminine’.

Thus boys are taught that women are the proper objects of desire, but also the proper objects of contempt, leading to a love-hate relationship with women/the mother. This is Oedipus in Torment, not an Oedipus Complex. Oedipus wants to love, but must disassociate, blind himself, to all that is female.

(‘Why do men hurt the women they love?’)

Creation of sadomasochistic erotic impulses in boys. Men learn as boys that they should demonstrate their contempt for things ‘female’ and women they love, such as their mothers. Thus, men’s ambivalence to loving a woman, and often desire for power and control during sex and the emotional relationship.

The ‘Oedipus Complex’ is a relatively recent concept historically, i.e. ‘don’t trust your mother’, and represents The Allegiance Shift becoming more imperative.

Democratisation of the Family – or the ‘Family in Crisis?’

The currently slogan ‘preservation of family values’ really means not , preservation of ‘love’ in the family, but preservation of the hierarchical family, with the father as its head, rather than the new egalitarian family. The current ‘crisis’ in the family – i.e., high divorce statistics, etc, -- is really a sign of transformation, not a collapse of ‘civilisation’ as we know it.’ This transformation is the democratisation of an institution that was never democratised, even though we now believe in equality in the political sphere. This revolution in the infra structure of society is for the better, and can make a new, more advanced form of political democracy emerge, one less aggressive-defensive in its impulses (less warlike), and thus more suited to the 21^st century multi racial global community, the new world society that must learn to exist with mutual toleration and be able to work together.

Why do girls and their mothers fight?

The relationship most essential to disrupt in patriarchy is the relationship between the mother and daughter. Mothers and daughters are not ‘natural enemies’ (‘competing’ for the father, as Freud egotistically imagined), but ‘natural’ friends, as they have many things in common. If this relationship were unbroken, however, patriarchy (male ownership of children and society) could not continue, since all power would not be ‘given’ to, or directed toward, attention focused on men. Women would vote for other women as often as for men. Distrust of women, and the double standard, are hallmarks of patriarchal psychology.

The relationship with the mother -- and the social system’s demand that boys and girls deny this relationship’s meaning when they ‘grow up’ – is the heart of boys’ and girls’ psycho-sexual identities. (Psycho-sexual development of children.)

There is no daughter in the holy family archetype -- which is our basic role model for what the ‘family’ (the reproductive family) ‘should’ be. Should we choose a role model for our icon, such as a character from ‘Little Women’, or perhaps Dorothy from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ or even Alice in Wonderland? These are all active, inquisitive little girls. Is the lack if such an ‘icon’ the reason, or one of the reasons, for the fascination of such young women as the heroines of current popular novels and films.

Torn Loyalties of Children in Two-Parent Families

Another unseen psycho-sexual drama in children’s psyches/lives is a crisis of loyalty. Most parents’ relationships, according to children here and other statistics, still contain gender stereotypes: most men don’t do housework, and still condescend to women at home, while women’s attitudes can be overly respectful, obedient and fearful of men.

Children are sometimes better off with a single parent, than with two who are unequal and thus present the child with a terrible loyalty conflict: children here document over and over again feeling pressure to ‘choose’, take sides, or ‘help’ the weaker one – or else be left feeling cowardly and self-hating, confused.

Sensuality is natural between parents and children. Why must affection be ended so abruptly? Affectionate touching is not always ‘sexual’, and ‘erotic’ components are not necessarily ‘bad’ and to be feared. Body closeness should not be cut off so soon, and more in-between ways of touching and caressing should be developed.

Construction of Girls’ Double Identity

Girls learn very early to connect their sexual identities with shame and not pride. Menstruation is not celebrated, and they cannot discuss sexual matters such as masturbation, menstruation or sexual feelings, not to mention asking to see their mother’s anatomy, to see if theirs is the same, etc. Girls’ sexual anatomy, like Eve’s is still linked with shame, so that to ask questions is ‘shameful’. (‘Keep your legs together!’ is a command most girls hear frequently between the ages of 3-13.) Thus girls develop a double identity, one as a ‘good girl’, and the other as their private sexual identity (hidden, not something one can publicly be proud of), i.e., the ‘whores’ and ‘madonnas’ split, the mind-body split.

This is a social crime the society commits against girls, which is carried through in the name of ‘love’ in the family (the social enforcement arm of patriarchy). Tomboyhood is a real part of girls’ identity, not a ‘stage’ they should grow out of.

Friendships between Girls are important, and represent the underground ‘self’ of the girl.

**In Partial Summary

I find no evidence of sexual puberty in girls. Just as women can orgasms perfectly well after ‘menopause’ (or the end of reproductive ability), just so girls can masturbate and orgasms frequently before supposed ‘puberty’ (or the onset of reproductive ability). Thus, ‘puberty’ in girls could only be termed reproductive puberty, not sexual puberty. Even the existence of strong, physical ‘hymens’ may be, statistically, a myth. Hymens are frequently a myth.

Boys’ sexuality emerges at ‘puberty’, in the sense of full orgasmic capacity, but is sadly negativised, in the sense that they are taught simultaneously that women are objects of desire, yet objects of contempt: boys are ridiculed for associating themselves with girls and women, taunted by other boys to demonstrate they are ‘tough’, and pressured to disassociate from all things ‘female’, ‘become men’. This creates a lifelong psycho-sexual combination in many men of associating eroticism and pain, in both their physical and romantic relationships with women.

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