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BOYS
TOGETHER, GIRLS ALONE From The Hite Report on the Family by
Shere Hite, published in, Australia on May 20 by Bloomsbury
The 1994 Hite Report has turned up some surprising findings about boys'
relationships with members of their own sex. ONE
of the most startling findings of my current research is the increase in the
number of boys who, as teenagers and older children, are having sexual
experiences with other boys. This number has increased substantially
since my research done between 1974 and 1981, and since Kinsey's research in the
'40s. To hear how easily and naturally many
boys share sexual activities with each other is truly surprising. Though some
boys worry a little, for most, these activities seem to be remarkably free of
guilt and conflict. Indeed, most boys do not wonder if they are "gay",
they don't seem to worry much about anything, they simply enjoy the pleasure and
camaraderie. The biggest worry is HIV. In the 1940s, Kinsey reported that 48
per cent of the men in his sample either masturbated or had sex with other boys
as adolescents or in their early teens. In my own work for The Hite Report on
Men and Male Sexuality, I found that 43 per cent of the sample were doing this.
Now, in the 1990s, the figure in my sample has increased to almost 60 per cent.
Does this mean that the number of boys masturbating together is increasing, or
are these percentages all in a range hovering around the 50s percentiles? On
average then, approximately 55 per cent of boys?' Girls, on the other hand, rarely learn
about sex together. However, girls form intensely emotional and sometimes
romantic friendships around the same age, in an atmosphere of strong feeling.
They create great intimacy verbally, in a way that boys almost never do, despite
boys' greater physical intimacy. The
spread of pornography and explicit television programs has probably encouraged
boys not to hide their sexual feelings and bodies from each other; is this what
is responsible for the increase in shared sexual activities? However, many boys who feel they are
"homosexual" (as opposed to those who just feel they are having sex
with other boys for fun) still report feeling very isolated with regard to their
sexual desires for other boys, especially if they live in very small towns. Said
one respondent: "All through junior high and high school I was frightened.
I was not aware of anyone else who was gay. I saw my sexual feelings as a
barrier between me and everyone else, and felt completely alone with these
feelings. I would hear the ordinary ugly innuendoes or jokes that every kid
hears about gays. This deepened my isolation: I was frightened of having any of
that scorn or hatred directed at me." What is really surprising is the kind of
sex boys are now having together. According to my 1970s data, this contact was
mostly mutual masturbation, often without touching each other. Now, it is much
more common for boys to touch each other, masturbate the other boy, and 36 per
cent of boys also perform fellatio together. 19 per cent have experienced anal
penetration, or penetrated another boy. Very few kiss. Judging from these replies, it is almost
as if shared sexual activity is a secret reality for men, part of the bonding
process. Or perhaps it is a new way in which men, and especially boys, are
beginning to open up to each other. Is a more "female" style of
intimate conversation still "off limits" to men, while "sex"
is not? On the other hand, this increase in the incidence of boys loving boys could imply an impending denial of women, part of the current backlash against women's rights. Is men's politeness towards women a charade, a pose, in a hypocritical world where men know they are closer to each other than to women? Is this a revival of the completely male-dominated world of societies like classical Greece? ------------------------------ Publication: Sydney Morning Herald - Publication date: 28-2-1994 - Edition: Late - Page no: 9 - Section: News and Features - Sub section: Agenda |
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