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THE PRESSURE FOR 'MANLY' PURSUITS Byline: Shere Hite SPORT is a hotbed of "male" pressure, according to most boys. One respondent said: "I was called a sissy by a PE teacher when I didn't want to play football with boys older and heavier than I. When I was forced to participate, I was kicked in the face and then called sissy when I cried. I was humiliated and angry." Another said: "I was told, "Be a man, not a sissy |" during sports, and many times by my father. It hurt because I always wanted to please my dad. My violent dislike of athletics and strong lack of competitive spirit left me open to these charges. I felt like a traitor." Team sport is supposedly especially "manly", i.e., playing with the group is better than "proving yourself" as an individual: "In 10th grade, when I was injured in football and had to sit out most of the season, I realised that I liked not playing better than playing. But I didn't have the internal strength to quit sports teams, even though I grew to dislike them." One boy said: "I was an intellectual kid who always had his nose in a book. I was driven into a lot of isolation by demands to be a jock and good at sport- I couldn't handle them at the time. In high school I used to get beaten up quite often for having no interest in sport or fighting, and for being a'closet fag'. In essence, I was ostracised by my peers during much of my high-school education." Boys also describe a lot of pressure not to associate with girls ("You're a sissy if you play with girls"), not to have girls as friends ('Girls are for sex"), and to spend their time with other boys. One respondent said: "I was always being criticised for playing with girls. I felt that playing with girls was just as much fun as playing with boys, but this attitude bothered my parents." Another said: "At about 11 my father criticised me for wanting to play with the next-door neighbour, who was younger than me, because she was a girl. Another time he blew up at me for spending the afternoon at a girl's house rather than doing something like being out playing football." And one boy, who liked to cook with his
mother, was told by his uncle that: "Boys like to do things with their
mothers, but as they get older, they find that men are the ones they want to do
things with. Why don't you try getting involved with some of the other boys who
have hobbies, like fixing up their cars?" ------------------------------ Publication: Sydney Morning Herald - Publication date: 3-3-1994 - Edition: Late - Page no: 9 - Section: News and Features - Sub section: Agenda |
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